by Sandra Sperber

In 2014, I attended a silent retreat surrounded by nature in a national park. I had a wonderful time and felt peaceful, happy and relaxed afterwards but this is not at all how my experience with meditation began 25 years ago. Back then, I signed up for a meditation course and all I remember is that my back was hurting from sitting cross-legged on the floor. 

After my first course, I kept up my meditation practice for a long time, the back pain improved but somehow life got in the way and I stopped. The problem was that there were too many rules on when to meditate, how to sit, where to sit and what stopped me was that I focussed on the obstacles: being too busy, not having the perfect space, etc. After many more meditation courses and teacher trainings, my passion as a teacher is to make meditation accessible and enjoyable.

Since my first meditation course from way back, I learned from many different teachers and schools of meditation. Here is what I wish I knew before I started:

1. Meditation and mindfulness are not self-help tools

It’s not about becoming a different person or better person. There is so much in the media at the moment on how mindfulness can help to manage stress and improve sleep. Putting meditation and mindfulness on your to do list as another “thing” to do can often add to the stress and frustration. There are many other ways to approach your path to well-being. In my meditation courses I introduce participants to different tools and techniques including relaxation and breathing techniques as well as sound.

“Meditation is the only intentional, systematic human activity which at bottom is about not trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, but simply realize where you already are.” Jon Kabat-Zinn

2. Mindfulness and meditation are not the same 

Mindfulness and meditation are often used in the same context. They are related but not the same. A mindfulness practice focuses on bringing the attention to the present moment, using the senses to notice certain details like sounds, smells, taste, etc. We can become present in any moment during the day and interrupt when we are not fully paying attention to whatever we are doing or our surroundings. When we practice meditation, we are setting aside a dedicated time for stillness. We are using the skills of mindfulness to bring the attention to a single focus and connect with a deeper part of ourselves. 

“Mindfulness involves the skillful use of attention to both your inner and outer worlds”  Rick Hanson

3. You can sit in a comfortable position

Relaxation is an important part of meditation. When the body becomes still and relaxed, the mind can relax. Sitting in pain is will keep your attention on the pain. You can sit on a chair, a cushion, lean against the wall or meditate lying down if this is the most comfortable position for you.

4.  You don’t have to meditate with your eyes closed

There are meditation techniques where you don’t have to close your eyes (for example softly gazing at a candle for object in front of you). Personally, I like to close my eyes during meditation because it helps me to draw my attention inward.

5. Thoughts are not the enemy of meditation

You don’t have to empty your mind. We are not trying to turn off our thoughts and emotions. However, thinking is what our minds are supposed to do and meditation gives us an opportunity to pause and become aware of our thoughts and emotions without judgement.

6. Be kind to yourself

Listen to your body. Whatever practice you are doing, be kind to yourself and start your practice with small steps. When I worked in corporate and came home in the evening, I jumped straight to my to do list of household chores, paperwork and preparing dinner. Simply taking the time to sit down for 10 minutes with a cup of tea every day became a practice that I was able to commit to.

7. Meditation is not only for the early risers

Many clients tell me that they have difficulties to meditate in the morning. It is very common that we go straight to action mode in the mornings and there is simply not enough time or mental space to meditate. Try to practice at different times during the day and see what happens and what works best for you.  

I often adapt my meditation practice as I’m not early bird but I’m not a night owl either. I’m somewhere in between and therefore work around my personal body clock.  

(If you are unsure about your “chronotype” you can take a test here.)

8. Meditation really works

Research suggests that meditation can induce an overall sense of well-being. A consistent practice will change the neural pathways in the brain and can improve concentration, create equanimity, a more positive outlook on life and compassion towards ourselves and others. The positive effects show not just during or immediately after we meditate, but in all areas of our daily lives.  

9. Meditation is a part of yoga

Meditation is part of yoga, an ancient and system which means to “unite” and to balance the body and the mind.  In the Western world, we tend to separate the physical part of yoga from the mental and spiritual practice. In my courses, I refer to the different parts of Yoga (Patanjali’s eight-fold path of yoga) and how meditation fits into the bigger picture.

10. Keep it simple

Some days it’s enough to take 3 deep conscious breaths. 

So my advice is to approach mindfulness and meditation with an open and curious mind and to try different techniques. Make meditation a daily habit. The right practice for you is the one you do. It’s better to start somewhere than not at all.